Title: The Impasse of my Heart
Warning: English is not my native language.
Summary: She never would have thought she would fall for him. If she were to rank her relationship with B2ST members he would have come in last. Ever since they were trainees their conversation would not be more than a hello. Being a shy girl did not help their situation at all.
She was the "Charisma" of her group and so was he. He might not have been the first one to catch people's eyes but with his fierce attitude and charisma on stage one could not tear their eyes off of him. And that's how everything happened. Even though 4Minute had debuted before them, she started looking up to him since both of their roles in their groups were similar. However; she didn't think she would have these kinds of feelings for him; she had only seen him as a senior that she could look up to and learn from."So what the hell was wrong with me?"She thought to herself...
How I Acknowledged his Presence in my Heart
How I Acknowledged his Presence in my Heart
I was very nervous, as in extremely nervous. I didn’t know why I was feeling like this. I was standing in front of the long mirror in my room, just staring at myself; trying to figure out what to wear for tomorrow’s recoding. How was supposed to address him tomorrow? I wanted to talk to him properly, you know, more than just a greeting. Why did it have to be him out of all people? I was never close to him before… Before? I still wasn’t close to him. When we went to skiing or did other programs with B2ST I was never close to him. Most of the time it was Jihyun unnie who would participate in programs with B2ST because of her friendly and outgoing personality it was easy for her to talk to anyone.
When in person, he would be the quietest one among them. He wouldn’t talk much since he would be tired, all the time. Except when he was with his other B2ST members he would get hyped up. At the same time he was the nagging king, and was like a mother to all other members… Maybe that’s why I started to like him… I cannot exactly remember why or when my feelings started to blossom; I could only remember the moment when I realized that I loved him…
“Jiyoon unnie!!” Hyuna squealed as she barged into the dorm. “The date is settled for my solo debut!” She said jumping up and down.
“Wow, that’s great news but you need to calm down first.”I smiled up to her trying to make her stand still. Jihyun and Sohyun came into the living room from their rooms thanks to Hyuna’s happy squeals and screams.
“Jihyun Unnie!! JunHyung oppa is going to rap in my solo, too!” She said again. Whoa, she was revealing news after news. Wait, who did she say was going to rap in her song? Junhyung… He was one of the best rappers in the Kpop industry. I was nowhere close to him, in rapping I mean. He would be very charismatic on stage, too; totally different from his usual cute, quiet self.
“Yah, Jiyoon-ah! Are you listening?” Jihyun said her face really close to mine. “From Earth to Jiyoon, whichever planet you are at right now, can you come down to here for a while?” She said smirking.
“Eh? What Planet? Huh?” What was she going on about?
Sohyun and Hyuna started laughing.
“Yah. This girl, really! You were not even listening to us. Hyuna’s recording date is set, too.”
“Oh. Well, congrats Hyunah!” I told her and gave her a hug. They were all staring at me as if they had caught me doing something I wasn’t supposed to do. What was going on? What was the whole planet metaphor about anyways?
It was time for HyunA’s debut stage for her song “Change”. We were backstage with her until her time to give her support. She was very nervous since she was going to be on stage by herself for the first time. Junhyung was also there in the room, getting his hair done. I felt anxious around him for whatever reason. I couldn’t even look at him. Good thing I was wearing my trademark glasses.
We went to our VIP seats from the front row since we weren’t going to perform. I was sitting between Gayoon and Jihyun. I was looking forward to this. HyunA would practice some of her dance moves in our dorm and we would even dance along with her.
“Yes, it’s starting,” said a very hyper Sohyun.
I had listened to the song before and I knew exactly when his part was going to come up. My heart started to beat faster than usual, and under the heavy blush that was applied to my face I could still feel my cheeks turning red. Why? He was on the stage; as charismatic and fierce as ever. Suddenly I felt weird. HyunA’s dance started to seem too provocative to me when he was around. I didn’t like the way he put his arms around her shoulder, and I definitely did not like the way she caressed his cheek.
He was on stage for mere 20 seconds but during those 20 second I felt all the weird feelings I had never experienced this strongly before. Anger, envy, sadness… What was wrong with me? Why did I feel so jealous of Hyuna for a few seconds? She was like my little sis for God’s sake. I needed to get fresh air.
I stood up very abruptly; causing the girls to look at me.
“I am going to go to the ladies’ room.” I said.
“Can’t you wait till she is finished she has like a minute left!?” Jihyun said looking annoyed but somewhat amused at the same time.
“I need to go, now.” I said and left off without waiting for our leader’s reply.
I went to the restroom and tried to control my feelings. I knew the whole performance was an act and all business. But I still got jealous. What was I jealous of? Was I jealous because Hyuna had her solo debut or was it because she had her debut with him? Aish. This was not good. I did not want to say the answer out loud but it was screaming back at me. I just couldn’t run away from my feelings anymore.
We went back to our dorm without Hyuna because she still had interviews to do. When we got home I changed into something comfortable and plopped on the couch and started to watch TV. Sohyun was watching TV with me while Jihyun and Gayoon were in the kitchen cutting up some fruits. Then I heard the keys jingle right outside our door. Oh Hyuna must be here. I didn’t want her to feel bad about my moodiness at the moment so I ran to my room and climbed into my bed, acting like I was asleep.
I could hear them talking and congratulating her. And here I was hiding in my bed.
“hey, Jiyoon-ah I know you are not sleeping.” Jihyun said entering the room.
“Yes, I am,” I replied back.
“Then why do you still have your makeup on?”
“Wait! I totally forgot!” I said jumping up from the bed causing my head to hit the ceiling since my bed was the top part of the bunk bed. “Ouch.”
“I know why you are acting like this.”She said sympathetically.
“Like what? I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“You like him don’t you?”
How did she- “I don’t know who you are referring to, Unnie.” I said sweetly.
“I am referring to Hyuna’s stage partner JunHyung” she said emphasizing on his name and saying it rather loudly.
“Shh!” I said. “What if the other girls hear it?”
“So I am right!” she said happily,
Oh shoot. “Yes, you are right unnie. Is it a crime? If so you can shoot me.” I said sarcastically. I was shocked by the fact that I was found out.
“Eh? Crime? You are funny Jiyoon-ah. You really are. I was going to say since I am good friends with him I can set you up on a blind date with him.” She said smiling innocently.
“Yah! Unnie. Are you making fun of me? Don’t even think about it.” I said blushing furiously.
“I am kidding. You are just so adorable like this, in loovee~” she said with a dreamy expression. I threw my pillow at her.
“Get out, I am going to sleep. And do not tell the others about this. Ok?” I asked.
“I get it. OK.” She said laughing and threw my pillow back at me before exiting.
*end of flashback*
Whatever. I was just going to wear my baggy jeans and a hoodie. We were going to the studio to record our upcoming mini album anyways.
“Are you ready? We need to leave.” Our manager said from the other side of the door.
“Yes. I am coming~” I said and got out heading to the recording studio.
A/N: Comments are loved, I am also posting this on b2strising at the moment ;) I know this is a rare pairing but being my 2 faves from the groups i had to write something :D
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Gayoon/yoseob- What would I do if I had a lover